Why I Blog

To express love for my loved ones.

To talk about sports.

To talk about my dog.

To deal with major crises.

To talk about movies.

To prepare for fun trips.

To muse politically.

To talk about activities I enjoy.

THAT'S why I blog.

No Apologies Necessary

One of my dear friends (one of the few I can still count on, if not my best) took me aside today to tell me that somebody who I once thought cared about me claimed s/he still did, but was afraid to see "drunk, mean Sam" ever again. But s/he implicated that were I not to be "drunk, mean Sam," then all was good, and Kimberly and I were welcome at his/her house. Bitte.

S/he reiterated to my friend that she/they really missed Kimberly, and missed the "whole gang" as well. Funny. Apparently, this was at a party that the "whole gang" was invited to, sans me, K, D, and B. How, please, is that the "whole gang?" Would the Edmund Fitzgerald have set sail without Ernest McSorley?

Yes, "drunk, mean" people can say some terrible things. But so can "drunk, cruel, I wish my politics were the same as my fucked up family's were, so I'll blame it on the only person who speaks his mind" people.

Thus,

A Few More Questions (ones that elucidate the porousness of certain borders):

a) What, then, does "whole gang" mean?

b) How many apologies can one man make make for one stupid joke?

c) How many times can one man tolerate being called a redneck, after begging for it to stop?

d) Why would somebody/some people who claim to have no problem(s) with Kimberly, let his/her/their problems with me poison his/her/their relationship(s) with her? That's not friendship or loyalty. That's not even integrity. That's craven cowardice.

e) Why THE FUCK would s/he think I would jump through that hoop?

So, no thanks, no apologies, no more.

Non serviam. I will not serve that in which I no longer believe, whether it call itself my home, my community, or my circle.

Patchwork Day 1

There it sits, a little clear square on my shoulder (left...I'm no fan of my brother's, but I'm not putting the patch over the mobius strips we share). Dizziness, sure, a little. Nausea? Yep, check. Tingling fingers? Kinda. But the last thing I want is a cigarette, so in that way it works. I usually meet D for beers on Thursdays after work...this ought to be interesting.

Months

However, some of the blogs I read have been tackling the whole "the Holiday Season (Brought to you by the Glad Family of Products)" issues, which, it seems, tends to happen right after Halloween, which is also known in my circles as Amateur Hour (Autumn Edition) [Amateur Hour ([Spring Edition]) being St. Patrick's Day.

I'm not sure I've always understood it. Men dress up like morons, women dress up like tramps (these are generalities, I know, many/most of my friends don well thought out and clever duds) and then the next morning everybody starts preparing, immediately, for the HS (BTYBTGFOP). It's as though AH(AE) is sort of a last-gasp maenadic event before we all hunker down and start the somber musings that the end of another year bring forth.

It's too bad, really, because early November can be a really neat time. Great football is on all the time, the air is crisp in a way it hasn't yet, and there's still time before the Calendar Year eliminates its own personal map and shuffles off into memory.

But, that said, I know a few people who are pondering the upcoming HS (BTYBTGFOP), so I'll play like a Roman whilst in Rome.

This HS (BTYBTGFOP) is going to be great, I think. Although Kimberly and I won't be traveling, and our actual Turkey Day Dinner (Proper) might be scaled down to two people, two cats, two pies, and one dog, it'll be great. It'll be just warm enough... and I'm looking forward to that. Granted, it's always nice to have a larger spread with both family AND friends on Turkey Day Dinner (Proper), I'm happy to sup that day with the same creatures who are in this house right now. And then, right after that, Rory will be in town. And Drew and Brian will be around all of that time. And the bar will be open. And the other bar will be open. So there will be friends everywhere when needed, and privacy when not. I'm looking forward to it.

The HS (BTYBTGFOP) is what you make it, and how you perceive it. Granted, 2009 has slimmed down mine and Kimberly's social and familial spheres, but I'm looking forward to giving thanks, opening gifts, and ringing in with the wheat, and not the chaff.

Thanks, Jessica!

This might be, just might be, the funniest website I've come across in a long time. I might never visit mcsweeneys, thepaincomics, or any other contrived hipster crap again.

What a D**k, and other pigskinflintery

Okay, listen. I love Boise State. I do. I have for years. And I'm amped to watch them tonight, on the Primo, play the Ducks on the Blue Turf.

But, as I've told some people, I almost want them to lose tonight, and here's why. I know quite a few people (brothers included, friends from Nashville via NYC via Boise not included) who get a deer tick up their asses when Boise State goes undefeated (like they did last year) and doesn't get into a Big Bowl Game. So, to an extent, I'd like to see BSU lose tonight so that kind of whining is tabled right from the get go. There are too many teams in other non-BCS conferences that have tougher schedules than BSU (i.e. TCU, Utah, BYU), so should one of them also run the tables alongside BSU, it makes sense to me that BSU should be relegated to a lesser bowl. The logic is simple: lesser conference, lesser schedule, lesser bowl. Now, if we repeat our 2006 season, when we went undefeated and NOBODY else did outside of the BCS conferences, then we'll warrant a BCS Bowl Berth. If not, I'm happy that BSU plays in January (or late December).

Memo to BSU: If you don't get a BCS Bowl berth this year, knock it off with the "second tier bowls" like the Liberty Bowl, the Outback Bowl, the Alamo Bowl, etc. The money ain't that much better, and people do tune in to watch the Roady's Humanitarian Bowl (the only cold-weather outdoor bowl, let alone the only one on blue turf). So, if you don't get a cheerleader for the dance, don't settle for the head cheerleader's fat friend. She sucks. Stick with the weirdo, badass chick from your poetry class... you know the one that I mean, the one with the blue hair.

But this guy, this guy. What a dick. Aside from a certain frater-familias who shall remain nameless, I've never met ANYBODY who thinks that if BSU runs the table they deserve a shot at the national title. Nobody thinks that. So, Gregg Doyle, shut your trap, you misanthropic motherfucker. Nobody thinks Boise State deserves a shot at the national title, so you're creating a straw man just so you can shit on the little guys. People play college football, and watch college football, and love college football, in small towns outside of the South, the Ohio Valley, and the West Coast. Boise State's not a joke, they're just a group of kids and a top-notch coaching staff who do what they do well, do it for the right reasons, and enjoy the hell out of themselves. What's a joke about that, asshole?

Oh, and to my friends...I'm going to try something this football season. I'm going to try corralling my football rants here, onto the blog, so that I'm not such an insufferable bastard about football out in public. 'Tis a tall order, and methinks it might last a week, but we shall see.

And, finally, here's my memory of the breakdown of our "Hooray Brian, Now Let's Pick 2009" festivities*:

Me: Titans and Saints

KZA: Ravens and Vikings

Ethan: Raiders and Bears

Brian: Steelers and Giants

Todd: Dolphins and 49ers

Jessica: Patriots and Cardinals

TT: Colts and Panthers **

* if I'm wrong, somebody let me know

**TT, you snuck away before your NFC pick, so I picked for you. We can change that if you want.

Just a thought

1980: Kennedy defeats Carter for the Democratic nomination, picks Mo Udall as his running mate. Narrowly defeats Ronald Reagan/George H.W. Bush in the general election.

1984: Kennedy replaces Mo Udall as his running mate (citing Udall's battle with Parkinson's disease), replacing him with a young Albert Gore, Jr. Garnering votes from the democratic stronghold in the North and East, and taking Tennessee, Texas, Kentucky, and Florida, Kennedy/Gore solidly defeat former CIA director George H.W. Bush and Kansas Senator Bob Dole.

1988: Gore runs, with Nebraska Senator Bob Kerrey as his running mate. Beats Jack Kemp/Alexander Haig solidly in the general election.

1992: Kerrey, after a successful "swift boating" of Kerrey's involvement in the Thanh Phong massacre in 1969, steps down as Gore's running mate. Gore replaces him with Arkansas Governor Bill Clinton. Gore/Clinton narrowly beat Kemp/Dole.

1996: Clinton runs, with Senator John Kerry as his running mate, continuing the Democratic policy of controlling the White House with a dual North/South platform. Clinton/Kerry destroy Dole and new governor of Texas, George W. Bush. Dole/Bush can't even carry Texas, as they witness as backlash: Texans are unhappy with the governor's pledge to serve out his entire first term. George W. Bush goes on to lose the next gubernatorial election to William S. "Kinky" Friedman.

2000: Clinton/Kerry run again, this time narrowly defeating John McCain/Fred Thompson. Thompson can't cash in, as the democrats again control the South.

2001: 9/11 attacks. President Clinton, remembering President Gore's mishandling of Mogadishu in 1993, destroys the Taliban with an overwhelming use of air power in "Operation Reasonable Response." President Clinton's Secretary of Defense Max Cleland and Deputy Secretary Colin Powell implement successful search for Osama bin Laden. bin Laden is killed in Kandahar.

2003: Citing eventually disproved intelligence, President Clinton orders internationally supported trade embargo of Iraq. To avert a complete collapse of Iraqi economy, Saddam Hussein welcomes UN weapons inspectors. Nothing is found. King Abdullah II of Jordan brokers a deal between Iraq and the UN. Iraq cedes complete control over domestic nuclear energy to the UNAEC in exchange for the suspension of the embargo and seat on the UN Security Council. The Arab world applauds the deal. Clinton and King Abdullah II share the 2004 Nobel Peace Prize

2004: Kerry runs, with John Edwards as his running mate. Kerry/Edwards successfully defeat New York Governor Rudi Juliani and former senator Fred Thompson.

2007: John Kerry suffers debilitating stroke while in office. Edwards takes control of the White House, via the 25th Amendment, nominating Senator Barack Obama as vice president. Democratic controlled congress swiftly confirms the nomination.

2008: Edwards/Obama, in a landslide, cripple the Republican's last attempt at regaining power, the Jeb Bush/George W. Bush "Brothers in Arms" ticket. Bush/Bush once again can't take Texas or Florida. Edwards's extramarital affairs kept hidden.

2009: Senator Majority Leader Hillary Clinton (D. NY) works with Senate Minority Leader Arlen Specter to draft successful health-care reform bill.

August 25, 2009: Former President Edward Kennedy passes. Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick appoints Theodore "Theo" Epstein, general manager of the Boston Red Sox (and who successfully brokered the purchase of Derek Jeter from the Yankees in 2003). Universally, Beltway insiders say, "sure why not?"